Pat
11:11 AM 11/2/2010
MMmmmm....chicken wrap with hot sauce and provolone cheese....mmmm delicious....
QUICK POLL (in honor of election day): Should I heat up my chicken wrap or leave it cold?
I'll need a two thirds majority, which is two votes....
Chini
11:14 AM 11/2/2010
Ummmm...heat for max 20 s.
Pat
11:15 AM 11/2/2010
Ok that's one vote for Heat. And the polls are closing soon because I gotta eat....
Pat
11:18 AM 11/2/2010
Aaaaaaaaannd the polls have closed. So we have 1 vote for Heat and 2 abstaining. Wow, now that's democracy...
I will let you know how the fruits of your democratic endeavors have played out in my next installation: All The Other Stuff That Gets Messed Up Between Election Days!!
Mark
11:24 AM 11/2/2010
But... the polls were only kept open for 4 minutes. This is an outrage! How dare you disenfranchise voters who have better things to do than check their email every 4 minutes!!
This is clearly a cheap ploy on the part of the liberal elite who are too good to eat their chicken cold, and therefore force their agenda down the throats of good, hardworking Americans before they have time to realize that soon they will have no choice but to shell out more taxpayer dollars to cover the electricity bill needed to power the microwaves to heat the chicken of the minority who feel they are too good to eat cold chicken. This is an outrage and it will not stand.
This heated chicken is clearly unabashed socialism being allowed to take hold in our nation's kitchens. Have you no shame, sir? Have you no decency? My grandfather fought for this country's freedom, and you are willing to give all of that up just for some heated chicken?
Vote Palin 2012. Keep your chickens cold.
Chini
11:35 AM 11/2/2010
Yes, your grandfather fought for this country's freedom. Therefore we should have the freedom to heat our chickens if we want! And we must institute this freedom on those who cannot afford to heat up their chickens. That is the ideology that this country is built upon. You take away our basic right to heat chickens, then what do we have left! Are you going to take away our right to have a side salad with our meal too? You are just being a stuck up conservative who doesn't want to spend any money for the betterment of society.
Obama Re-elect 2012! Heated chickens for every man, woman, and child in America.
Mark
11:46 AM 11/2/2010
This entitlement culture where people seem to think they implicitly have the right to have their chicken heated is what has run this country into the ground. If a man works hard, earns money, and uses that money to heat his chicken, more power to him. That is his god given right and a true sign of the free market at work. That is not what we have seen happen today however. This was a dark instant indeed for American democracy. Here we have a man who did not earn the right to have his chicken heated, but rather passed the bill on to a group of poverty stricken children with cancer. How did he validate this decision? With a sham election in which nearly 70% of the voting public were not even informed of the existence of the polling by the time the polls closed. Does that help you sleep at night, good sir? That microwave doesn't run on imagination, like your economic plan seems to. It is paid for by a children's hospital. Some day, when the doctors need to disconnect some little girl's life support 20 seconds early because the hospital can no longer pay their electric bills, think on that. Was warm chicken really worth it?
Palin 2012
Solving the health care crisis, one cold chicken at a time.
Pat
12:05 PM 11/2/2010
My fellow citizens,
This past election season we've seen the highs and we've seen the lows. Not forty five minutes ago, we pulled ourselves out of the darkness that was a tyranny of oppression called Early Morning and pulled ourselves into the light of Democracy. Our bravery still resides deep in our hearts and we push forth boldly into the great and ever-expanding beyond. You, my fellow patriots, are part of this great country. You are part...of America!
Now it has come to my attention that the way the previous Election was carried out has become a concern to nearly an entire quarter of our population. This greatly upsets me and REST ASSURED i will not sleep until this problem is put to REST and I will only rest when my rested head will rest on the dead body that was this problem. Now be assured, the problem before us which I previously stated earlier is nothing short of a huge problem and must be dealt by problem-solving problem-ers like me. And I can lead you forth into a land with NO problems! Not a single one in sight! And it shall be called Patropia! Where everyone can will be informed of the next election cycle well within twenty to thirty minutes before the polls close. And why not! Let's make sure not a single citizen of this new great nation will ever go without the knowledge of their next election! Let's make it forty minutes! Forty! I know its a stretch, Patropian citizens, but it...is....done!
Whether you are partial to heated chicken or slightly cooled chicken for your lunchtime faregoings, it makes no difference on the kind of person you are in Patropia. Please, once again, REST ASSURED that I will NOT REST until all of you have had your MINDS RESTED on the subject of not having to worry about the credibility of my last election. We are all human, and any human entity, be it an individual or a large organization is fallible. This is the simple truth and we must not let that fact derail our progress. WE ARE A TRAIN AND WE SHALL NOT REST!
So please, come one and all to your new nation, Patropia! Where an election shall be held every day! A place for cold chicken and warm chicken folks alike! Where you never have to bother with those peskie presidential elections anymore. Where you can vote on things that truly matter to you! Where everyone shall get a full share and a full say. Where everyone is a Patriopian!
Thank you my fellow citizens! I await the arrival of your firstborns.
President and Supreme Ruler and Chancellor, Judge, Jury and All of That Jazz,
Patrick the First Patropian
Pat
12:09 PM 11/2/2010
I really hope Neel wakes up for this...
Mark
12:19 PM 11/2/2010
Here we are again, ladies and gentlemen (er... lady and gentlemen). A pointless ideological speech showing no clear cut solutions to the problems at hand. This privately appointed official promises more transparent election cycles, but provides no real methods to achieve this goal.
Furthermore, he has failed to accept guilt in the Chickengate scandal. It is you, sir, who called for the early end to polling. It is you, sir, who heated your chicken, and it is you, sir, who reaped the benefits of a heated chicken wrap at the expense of hard working cancer patients. I guarantee you, no intelligent citizen will follow your lead until you answer for these acts.
What's more, Patrick has once again shown that he is soft on immigration law. Immediately following his eloquent yet hollow speech, he appealed to the immigrant base in this thread, which by some studies contributes up to 50% of this thread. This country is losing its identity, and Patrick has done nothing to stop it. We know his wife wasn't born in this country, is it too much to ask that we see the birth certificate proving that he was? Bear in mind, Wisconsin doesn't really count as a state.
Palin 2012
We don't even need Wisconsin's votes
Pat
12:31 PM 11/2/2010
It is time to rise about the political naysaying and pickpocketing and start over again. Fresh, clear...well rested. I am not your opponent my good citizen. I'm the President. And you are a full-share voting citizen. But always remember...I'm the GD president! I can have the secret service erase every evidence that you and your family ever existed! Your friends will disappear on random round-the-town errands. Your family will all come down with Bulgarian whooping cough! Your father will indeed smell of elderberries! And all because you decided to use your divinely inspired right to free speech to bash your beloved and good-natured President on his preference of temperature for a delicious chicken wrap! I mean, cant we all just come to the conclusion that "Chicken is Good"?
Come on now people. We all love chicken. It's a place to start.
Patrick the First True and only Patropian President....bar none....the rest of you wannabees can go chew aluminum foil for all I care.
Continue to Re-Elect the One True President for the Rest of His Life! Go Chicken!
Mark
12:50 PM 11/2/2010
Here you see it, ladies and gentlemen. His back is to the rope. He skillfully has piloted the ship of state into the iceberg of his Chickengate scandal and then sat helplessly as it sank into the dark oceans of corruption. Now, finally seeing his reign as the failed enterprise it is, he has resorted to threats of Orwellian measures to keep the thinking public from becoming the talking public. I for one choose to speak out! Chickengate, stealing from cancerous children, the unwinable pop-soda war, floundering starcraft ratings, where will it all end!! I call for every god fearing American to join me in calling their senators, their congressmen, their governors in calling for the impeachement of.... Wait, who are you? Hey, don't put that bag over my head!!! What are you injecting me with? Where are you takinh nw? Jahoi ajie mghs gjs ajioweupaegrhu.....
Hello again, fellow patriots. I am here to remind you to continue supporting our intelligent, stylish, and all around beautiful leader Patrick. He will lead us all to the happiness that is warm chicken.
Patrick 2012
Because Palin wants your chicken cold
Somewhat ironically, I had a heated chicken sandwich just prior to posting this
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